The Loss of a Shepherd

THE LOSS OF A SHEPHERD

by Bob Branch

“Be compassionate shepherds who tenderly care for God’s flock and who feed them well, for you have the responsibility to guide, protect, and oversee.” 1 Peter 5:2 TPT

“A pastor is a person who is entrusted with a congregation and is entrusted with the Word of God.” — Eugene Peterson

“When he saw the crowds, he felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dejected, like sheep without a shepherd.” Matthew 9:36 CSB

Each week, people teach, preach and lead God’s people. It is a sacred calling from God—something entrusted to them to steward. The people are not ours. They belong to God. It is both an honor and a responsibility God entrusts. In the end, they will report to him on how that went and what they said and did (James 3:1; Rom. 14:12; Mat. 12:36-27).

Most pastors start with a sense of sacred responsibility, but slowly over time adopt an attitude that this is “my calling” and these are “my people”—leading to a sense of entitlement and inappropriate ownership. It happens almost imperceptibly. As it does, there is a susceptibility to temptations that can not only trip us up, but cause us to consider options that would never have been acceptable to us earlier. Most pastoral failures follow this kind of pathway—with varying particulars, but similar outcomes.

Your shepherd—your pastor, minister, or leader—has “fallen.” That is, he has sinned in a way that has disqualified him from being your shepherd. For most people, their shepherd occupies an important place in their spiritual journey. They have taught you, mentored you, led you, counseled you, befriended you, and loved you. Losing them hurts—badly.

Part of the process you will go through after losing your pastor is grief over what you have lost. But, what have you lost? Here is a place to start. You have—

• Lost a caring shepherd. You trusted him to care about you and your journey with Christ. “Who will care about me now?”
• Lost a trusted spiritual voice. You counted on him to help you understand truth, find God, and hear from him. “How will I find my way now?”
• Lost some of your security in God. Trust in God and trust in your pastor may have become closely connected. His failure can shake both. “Where was God in this?”
• Lost the future you expected. You assumed certain things would remain steady and built your life around them. Suddenly, that future has been disrupted.
• Lost trust in spiritual leadership. Someone you counted on to “get it right” has failed. “Was what he taught me true? Can I trust another leader?”
• Lost a familiar, steady voice. Week after week, his presence brought truth, comfort, encouragement, and consistency. Now there is an empty space where that voice used to be.
• Lost someone who made you feel seen and cared for. He noticed you, knew your story, and made you feel that you mattered. “Who sees me now?”
• Lost a father figure, friend, or someone you loved. Perhaps he believed in you, cheered you on, and gave you a tangible experience of God’s love. You miss him, not just his role.
• Lost some hope for tomorrow. His faith carried you when yours was weak. His confidence helped you believe God was still at work. “Where will I find that hope now?”
• Lost an anchor for life and faith. His voice helped you make sense of competing messages and connect faith with everyday life. Without it, you may feel adrift.
• Lost the stability of your church community. What once felt safe and familiar may now feel fractured, confused, and uncertain. His failure has not only hurt you; it has hurt us.
• Lost an advocate and counselor. He stood in your corner, helped you through painful seasons, and offered direction when you were confused. Old hurts may now be resurfacing.
• Lost some of your faith’s innocence. Especially if you came to Christ through him, his failure may have bruised something that once felt simple, beautiful, and secure.
• Lost confidence in what you believed. Because truth became connected to the person who taught it, his failure may leave you asking, “Was any of it real? What can I still trust?”
• Lost memories, meaning, and joy. He may have baptized you, married you, dedicated your children, or walked with you through important moments. Good memories may now feel complicated or even painful.

You may recognize several of these losses—or losses not named here. A pastor’s failure can reach into parts of our lives we never expected it to touch.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:

Read back through the list and put a mark next to any of them that cause feelings to rise within you. Which ones are part of your experience right now? Write a few thoughts on each of these.

Can you add any losses to this list? If so, write them down and begin a dialogue with God about them.


By Bob Branch, Executive Director & Co-Founder of After The Fall, a ministry that comes alongside churches in crisis after their pastor's moral failure.